"You can't choose how you will die, but you can choose how you will live."
Ashley had those words written on a notecard on her bulletin board when she died that day. I don't think she would have ever guessed how many times those words would be repeated when people remembered her. But they are so fitting... Ashley lived every day 110%. She was a sophomore on the varsity soccer team... it never crossed my mind that she was on that bus until I heard the news.
Who I'd like to meet:
I cant wait to meet God.... and Id also like to meet Mia Hamm, Craig Biggio and maybe even you:)
I cant wait to meet God.... and Id also like to meet Mia Hamm, Craig Biggio and maybe even you:)
Those are the words on Alicia's myspace. When she wrote them, she had no idea how much comfort they would bring her family and friends, as we reminded ourselves that she was ready to meet God, and excited about it. The last time I had seen Alicia was at a community service event, where we were both volunteering on our Christmas breaks. She was so excited about college, I teased her about being an Aggie, and we laughed as we caught up.
On March 29,2006, I never knew how much my life would change when I got up and went to class. I came home, and was in my dorm room when I got the call. I can close my eyes, and I am back in that exact spot. Jonna was in there, I was standing behind my desk when my dad called. He told me there had been a wreck... Amanda was ok... Matt was on his way, they would let me know when they knew more. All I knew was the varsity girls soccer bus had flipped... and I sat down, staring in disbelief. (Matt is my brother, and Amanda is his ex and a good family friend, who had thankfully thought to call Matt to tell him she was ok) Matt had to take back roads, there was no way to get through... I remember hearing that he was on dirt roads flying, desperate to get to his friends. Then I found out two girls had died. I called Courtney, she was here at Baylor but she and her younger sister had both played soccer, and I knew she would have updates. I called Abby too, we had been best friends in HS, and I knew she still kept up with the soccer team she had spent so many hours practicing with. I knew by now 2 girls were pinned. I knew people were crawling out of the bus covered in ants... that it was raining, people were being transported to different hospitals. I called Ben... I was crying so hard I didn't know what else to do. By the time I got through to him, I knew Alicia had died. I was devastated, Alicia had been super close friends with my brother and his girlfriend, and she and I had hung out a lot through various school events. Ben was in formation and promised to call me back. By this time I had run to Ashleigh's room... I was sitting on the floor sobbing. Then I found out it was Ashley. At first, I kept insisting my dad was wrong. You see, there was another girl I had gone to school with who had the same name, but she was a year older than me and had graduated. But her sister was a year younger than me, and had played soccer, so I figured that it must be her. But then he told me it was Ashley. Ben's cousin. The funny girl who had sat in with me while I taught middle schoolers at church and made all of us laugh. The one who never believed me when Ben and I started dating, but then was so excited once she saw pictures of the two of us. And right after I hung up with my dad, Ben called me back. I was sobbing so hard I couldn't even say hi. And I remember him asking me if Ashley was on the bus. I could barely get the words out as I told him she was. He caught the was, and knew. I could hear it in his voice. He asked me if she got off... and I had to tell him no. It broke my heart completely in half to tell him that his beautiful, sweet cousin never got off the bus that afternoon.
I went to class the next day and walked out anytime my phone went off. I didn't care to be there... I slept during some, cried during others. I wanted to be out of Waco, back where people understood the pain I was going through. I drove home for the funerals that Friday... went home and picked up my youngest brother, and went straight to my dad's office. I ran into his arms, even though I knew he was on the phone. I will never forget the look on his face as he ended that call and held me tight. That whole weekend was the hardest thing I had done in my life until that point. I buried two friends who were younger than me, and so full of life. I sat next to friends and family and held their hands and cried with them. Coming back to school was hard... so was walking into lab two days later and seeing the charter bus we were supposed to ride. I had a panic attack and burst into tears... luckily a girl in my class was from a few towns away from me and was able to tell the lab ta what was wrong.
I stopped at the wreck site over Thanksgiving. Ironically, as I got back into my car I found out another friend of mine from HS had been in a wreck and was fighting for her life, and died soon after. But as I sat on the ground where that bus had layed on its side, I remembered all the times these two beautiful girls had made me laugh. I honestly can't remember a time I was around them that they weren't smiling and full of joy.
The state of Texas is going to require seatbelts in busses starting in 2009, and in 2010 for charter busses used by schools. If Ashley and Alicia hadn't been in that wreck, if so many others hadn't been injured, who knows whether this important legislation would have ever been passed. I gave a few speeches on the topic last semester, and while it was the hardest speech I have ever had to give, I feel people should be informed. People should know about Ashley and Alicia, see their beautiful smiles, know their stories, and know why this legislation is so very important. And its still a battle, we know the fight is not up yet. In fact, this article about it was in the local paper today... it actually made me cry, reading what Ashley's dad and Lolo (her grandmother) said.
The slideshow makes me cry... I know almost every single person in those pictures. My sister in law is the one crying at the flagpole... we actually have that picture at my house.
May angles lead you in my friends. I can remember our time together fondly, because I know yall are in a better place. But we still miss you, and we will never forget the sunshine yall brought into our lives.
1 comment:
Thanks very fine, felicitation
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