I'm so spoiled...

I really am. I had this realization last night at dinner, when my wonderful boyfriend went to sit down (after getting up to get our food, realizing they screwed his up, bringing me mine, sitting down, and getting back up to check on his) just as I realized I was out of diet coke. I made a face, and he immediately hopped up to get me some. I offered, and he just smiled and said no, he would grab me some. I know that sounds like a really small thing. And maybe it is. But at the end of a long, frustrating afternoon of homework, it made me smile. And its a million more things like that, every single day. Calling me before Sunday School to make sure I woke up because we were up late the night before. Bringing me coffee. Bringing me chocolate when I am deep in hw and look frustrated. Trying to do everything to go home with me at Spring Break so I can be in Texas for a few days. Giving me the stool he is using for his feet so that I can put my laptop on it while I read a book. Getting up and finding me a blanket because he knows I am cold and don't want to get up to get one. Having gmail and facebook open on his computer when he knows I am coming over to use it for hw, because I can't do hw without distractions. Letting me cover every surface of his house in sticky notes I have doodled on. Thinking all the silly things I do are cute.

I really am more lucky than I can put into words. Not sure how the heck he was single when I met him, but VERY thankful that he was. And that hes mine. :)

Homesick...

This last semester is so frustrating. I feel like it is always somehow harder to go home in the spring (despite the lack of football games to take up my weekends), but especially this year. Top that off with the fact that I don't have a job yet, and the fact that I just bought a car... I'm a bit homesick. I wish so bad I had the money to fly home but I just don't. I desperately wish I could go home at Spring Break, but I have serious doubts that will happen. I know its part of growing up... but living out here will be so much easier when I have the money to travel back. Texas will always be home... part of my heart will always be there.

September can't get here soon enough... thats the next time I know I have a fair shot of being able to get back. Thats so overwhelming to even think about-- it seems like forever. :(

Where I want to be...

So its January... starting the last semester of my graduate career. And we all know what that means... job apps anyone??
Its a tough transition. I feel like I've barely been here long enough to even get used to the idea that I no longer live in Texas, and yet its already coming to an end.
I'm getting into the job search process more, and its a bit rough. I know where I want to be, and yet I don't know at all. I tend to wait until I know 110% what I want to do before I run after it... and right now I feel like I am running after things because I a) need a job, and b) want to be near my boyfriend. That really isn't a BAD thing... its just difficult for me, because I have to apply and interview before my mind is made up about where I want to work or which jobs look like an exact match for me.

In all of this... I know God has a plan. Everytime I worry about May and the changes it will bring, I remind myself that He has brought me to this place in my life for a REASON. There is something amazing ahead... I'm just waiting to see what that is. <3

Its that time of year...

... where I choose to procrastinate on studying by reflecting on the previous semester. ;)

I'm sitting on my living room floor with the patio door partially open listening to the rain fall on the AC units outside (which almost sounds like a tin roof)... and of course, I have NO motivation to study. I take that back- I do have motivation. Apparently just not enough.

I am not excited about this job hunt that is coming up. I'm EXCITED about a job. I'm EXCITED about moving. Just not excited about finding a job that I can believe in and competing against people who are well... a tad less than honest. The job search thus far has only reminded me how BLESSED I am to have done my undergrad in a place that not only TAUGHT ethics, but really believed in being ethical in business practices. And this whole process is further complicated by the fact that in my heart, I know where I want to be. I just have to trust that God will either change my desires, or He will have a plan to get me to that place.

Looking back on this semester, its also kind of ironic where I am friend-wise. Not where I thought I would be. Not where I thought I wanted to be. But blessed beyond my wildest imagination. And yes, that includes my amazing boyfriend... ;)

This finals season finds me calming down a tad. Learning what REALLY matters at the end of the day. Remembering not only where I came from, but where it is I am going. Remembering that sometimes those leaps of faith are crazy and wild and scary, but that if you are leaping by FAITH, then you are leaping into the arms of a God who is going to catch you.

And now friends... its off to study. But I leave you with this song that I have been playing over and over and over this week...

Captivate Us

Since everyone is getting into Christmas...

Do you ever want to tell a story, but know you could never do it justice?

I have one of those stories on the tip on my tongue, but I know whatever I try to say, it could never do this story the justice it deserves. And yet, it reminds me so much of what Christmas really means, I have to try.

I have a dear friend from college who comes from an absolutely precious family. I have only met her family in passing, but I feel like I know them all personally after all the prayer requests and stories this friend has shared over the years.

Awhile back, the family began praying about adopting two precious children, Molly and Mason. Its been a very long process, and these are some of the most prayed over children in the existence of the world.

Just days before the parents were to fly to China to pick up the two newest members of the family, the father was in a car accident and went home to be with Jesus. He was not only a loving husband, father, father in law, son, brother and friend, he was a deeply respected pastor who touched lives across the globe. It was truly a loss felt by many.

Now, just weeks later, the family is getting ready for a very special Christmas. On Christmas, my dear friend's mother and little brother will be flying to China to pick up Molly and Mason. This family, who has been through so much, is going to open up their home and their hearts to these two precious children and give them a life that they could have never dreamed of. I doubt anyone would have said anything negative had the family decided this was not the time to go through with the adoption. But they knew God had opened the doors with a reason, and they are going forth with the belief that God will give them the strength and resources to do what He has led them to do.

To me, that is the most beautiful example of what Christmas is all about. To smile through the tears and the pain, and reach out to show the love of Christ to these children for the rest of their lives.

I pray that this Christmas season, as you sit down to celebrate with your friends and family, and you reach for the gifts under the tree, that you remember this dear family. Remember Molly and Mason. And remember that the greatest gift we can give each other is to show each other the love of Christ.

Miss you Kate...

"There You'll Be"

When I think back
On these times
And the dreams
We left behind
I'll be glad 'cause
I was blessed to get
To have you in my life
When I look back
On these days
I'll look and see your face
You were right there for me

[Chorus:]
In my dreams
I'll always see you soar
Above the sky
In my heart
There will always be a place
For you for all my life
I'll keep a part
Of you with me
And everywhere I am
There you'll be
And everywhere I am
There you'll be

Well you showed me
How it feels
To feel the sky
Within my reach
And I always
Will remember all
The strength you
Gave to me
Your love made me
Make it through
Oh, I owe so much to you
You were right there for me

[Repeat chorus]

'Cause I always saw in you
My light, my strength
And I want to thank you
Now for all the ways
You were right there for me
You were right there for me
For always

[Chorus:]
In my dreams
I'll always see you soar
Above the sky
In my heart
There will always be a place
For you for all my life
I'll keep a part
Of you with me
And everywhere I am
There you'll be
And everywhere I am
There you'll be
There you'll be

I miss you Kate. Not a day goes by I don't still think about you...

its been a long week.

"May the best you've ever seen be the worst you'll ever see.
May the mouse never leave your girnal with a tear drop in its eye.
May you always stay whole and hearty until you are old enough to die.
May you always be as happy as I wish you all to be."

As I watch the story unfold from the shooting at Ft. Hood this week, my heart is incredibly heavy. When casualties come back from a war, its much easier to handle than to know those very soldier were not safe on our turf. And yet... maybe, just maybe... maybe this war will become more real to people. Its not just a war fought on soil far away. It is a war that is being fought at home as well. By the families left behind with every deployment... by the soldiers who come home changed. By people who are torn between defending their country and going off to war. I am in no way defending the shooter- he deserves to sit in a damp, dark cell and think about that day for the rest of his life.